My safest home in the world is right here in your arms, Mumma
For My Mumma, While You Sleep
“You are my Sun and I am your Moon. You are my Mumma, my peace, and the woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with.”
Tap anywhere to sprinkle some love
Clear today’s heavy clouds with me
Mumma, today hurt both of us so much: my insecurity, how hurt I felt when you scolded me, my angry words, and the whole day we spent blocked and overthinking. Tap all 4 storm clouds to wipe today’s pain away.
No matter how big a storm gets, it is always us versus the problem, never you versus me. When you fell asleep on our call tonight, I realized all over again that I can never live a single day without my Mumma.
What your Chiku’s heart was really crying out
You know how emotional and dramatic your baby gets when he is hurting. Tap each message to translate my angry words from today into what I was actually feeling inside.
Comfort your crybaby Chiku
Mumma, my heart was hurting today too, and only your motherly love and cute teasing can heal me back to 100%. Tap all 4 buttons to take care of me and watch my heart fill up.
Melt your anger and develop our photos
Drag the slider down to 0% so you aren’t mad at me anymore. Our photos are still developing, and they only turn clear when your anger melts. Then tap each photo to read the memory.
Photos are still developing. Keep dragging left.
Why I am going to spend the rest of my life with you
Mumma, let me make one thing crystal clear tonight: no fight, no insecurity, and no bad day will ever change the fact that you are the woman I am going to marry and spend my entire life with.
1. Waking up next to you every single morning
Soon there will be no more distance between us. I want to wake up to your face every morning, roam around in your t-shirt, cook food with you (even if we burn it sometimes!), and sleep cuddling in your arms every single night.
2. Turning our “husband & wife feelings” into marriage
Getting ready together on video calls, praying together at the Gurudwara and Church, and standing by me when I lost 2 lakhs showed me that you are already my life partner. I want to build our home and raise a family with you.
3. Growing old while still calling you “Mumma”
Even when we grow old together, I will still be your baby Chiku, still talking in my cute baby voice, still stealing kisses, still worshipping every inch of your body and soul, and still choosing you in every lifetime.
Tap to claim your make-up coupons from me
Constellation of us: connect the stars
Reach into the jar of reasons
Tap to seal our promises to each other
Four little poems I wrote for you
Mumma, I am not a poet, but love turned me into one tonight. Turn the pages slowly, and read each line the way you would hear me say it in your ear.
Mumma, my safe place
Poem 1You are the quiet after every storm,The hand that finds mine when the night is long,The lamp I walk toward when I’m lost and worn,The softest verse in my hardest song. When I am small and scared and loud with fear,You turn my thunder into gentle rain.Say “Chiku,” and the whole world draws near,And I am home, and healed, and whole again.Sleep, my Mumma
Poem 2 · for the nights you fall asleep on meSleep now, my love, the stars are keeping guard,The moon has tucked your dreams beneath its wing.I’ll stay awake, for loving you’s not hard,It is the easiest thing in everything. If morning finds you smiling in your sleep,Know that it’s me you’re dreaming into day.Whatever promises the dark may keep,My heart has kept its promise: here to stay.Two Lotuses
Poem 3 · Lotus Valley, HatodTwo lotuses upon one quiet lake,Rooted in mud, yet reaching for the light.We learned that hearts can bend and never break,That love grows brightest after darkest night. Through Hatod’s dust, through Indore’s rainy street,Through every silence, every wounded word,Your soft hand made my scattered pieces meet,The sweetest sound my heart has ever heard.Husband & Wife, Someday
Poem 4 · the morning I am waiting forOne day there’ll be no screen between our eyes,Just morning light and chai and your warm hand.I’ll steal your t-shirt, you will roll your eyes,And we will build a home, just as we planned. So keep me close when I am scared or wrong,And I will keep you safe, in rhyme and deed.For you are all my verse, my life, my song,My Mumma, my forever, all I need.Every poem is only a small piece of what I feel. The rest, I will spend my whole life saying.
Letters to open whenever you need me
Mumma, I cannot be next to you every minute, so I left small pieces of myself here. Open the right one at the right moment, and I will be right there.
Close your eyes for a moment, Mumma, and feel me right there beside you, my head in your lap, my hand in yours. The distance is only a road, and every road ends at you. I am counting the days until I never have to say goodnight through a screen.
Until then, hold your own hand the way I hold it, and know that wherever you are, my heart is already facing your direction.
— Your Chiku
Breathe in slowly, and out. Let the day go. Whatever is heavy, put it down; I am carrying it with you. You sang me to sleep so many times, so tonight let me sing to you in my silly baby voice.
The stars are awake so you don’t have to be. Sleep, my Mumma. I am here, even when you can’t see me, and I will be here in the morning.
— Your Chiku
If you ever feel I have drifted, please remember this page. Every time I get scared, it is because I love you so much that I cannot imagine losing you. It is never because I love you less.
I promise to say “Mumma, hold me” instead of hurting you with my words. And I ask you gently, tell me when you are hurt too. We will hold each other through it.
— Your Chiku
You are allowed to be angry, my love. Be angry, scold me, roll your eyes at your dramatic baby. But please do not stay silent and do not block me, because silence is the only thing in this world that scares me.
Scold me, then hold me. I will say sorry with every part of me, and then I will make you laugh until the anger forgets why it came.
— Your Chiku
Imagine me making that ridiculous lisping baby voice, trying to look serious and failing completely. Imagine me stealing the last bite of your food and blaming the dog. Imagine me being very proud of a terrible joke.
Now smile, Mumma. There it is. That smile is the best thing I have ever seen, and I am the luckiest person alive because it is mine.
— Your Chiku
Feel my heartbeat for you
How much does Chiku love you?
Our someday vows. Tap to hear each one
- I promise to hold you before I argue with you.
- I promise to say “I’m feeling insecure” out loud, instead of hiding it behind anger.
- I promise never to use the word “breakup” as a weapon.
- I promise to pray with you, for you, and because of you.
- I promise to stay beside you when life is hard, as you stayed beside me.
- I promise that your tears will always matter more than my pride.
- I promise to cook with you, burn the food with you, and laugh about it.
- I promise to choose you, today and tomorrow and in every lifetime.
Now write back to your Chiku
Send a wish to the sky with me
Mumma, write one wish for us and let it go. Every lantern you release rises over the water and joins the stars.
How well do you know us, Mumma?
Five little questions from our own memories. There is no wrong answer you can lose me over.
Spin the wheel, scratch the card
Mumma, two small games just for you. Spin for something Chiku owes you, then scratch the gold to find what I hid underneath.
Scratch to reveal
Twelve reasons I fall for you again
Tap the card, Mumma. Each tap opens one more reason, and I could write a thousand.
Our little bucket list
Mumma, tick the dreams you want to live with me, and add your own below. We will do them one by one.
Counting down to our next 29 July
Every second moves us closer to another year of you and me.
A morning love letter from your Chiku
Tap the seal to open
Good morning, my dearest Mumma,
While you were sleeping peacefully after our call tonight, I stayed up making this for you. Today was so heavy for both of us. When I got insecure today, all my heart wanted was for my Mumma to hold me gently and help me feel safe. When you scolded me instead, I felt really hurt inside, and in my hurt and anger, I said horrible things about my mental health being ruined and wanting to break up.
I am so sorry for saying that to you, Mumma, and for the whole day we spent blocked, hurting, and overthinking. I didn’t mean a single word about breaking up. The truth is, I cannot imagine a single tomorrow without you. You are the girl who sang me to sleep with “Chanda hai tu”, the girl who put my name in her mehndi, and the woman I am going to marry.
Let me tell you what I felt while I watched you sleep, Mumma. I felt small and safe at the same time. Small, because I realised how much of my world is you. Safe, because even in your sleep, you are my home. All my anger evaporated, because nobody can stay angry at the person who sings them to sleep.
I know I am dramatic. I know I am a crybaby who panics when he is scared. But my drama has only ever been a loud way of saying “please don’t leave me.” What I really want is to be better for you: to speak softly, to hold on tightly, and to say sorry before the sun goes down.
I think about our little things all the time: the bouquets at Birds & Bees, the boat on the lake, the litti chokha, the mehndi with my name. Those are not just memories, Mumma. They are the proof that we are real, that we are already a family, and that no bad day gets to rewrite our story.
I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, and infinitely for all the days and nights to come.
— Always & forever your Mumu / Chiku
Before you answer, Mumma…
Mumma, will you forgive me & spend the rest of your life with me?
We are officially back & bound forever!
No storm, no insecurity, and no fight can ever separate my Mumma (Gudiya) and her Chiku (Mumu). We are going to spend our whole lives together, waking up in each other’s arms, laughing, making up, and loving each other endlessly as husband and wife.
Now call or message me right away and say “Chiku” in that soft voice of yours. I am waiting to hold you!
Created with endless love by Chiku (Mumu) for his Mumma (Gudiya)